RIP Keith Flint

The world discovered that The Prodigy's Keith Flint passed away a few hours ago. He was found dead in his home at the age of 49. Media reported that his death was not suspicious. That usually means one of two things: suicide or a drug overdose. I was hoping for something else. Rhones suggested that it could have been a heart attack.

I'm not the biggest Prodigy fan in the world. I only have a couple of their songs on JJJ compilations and the Breathe CD single. I've never seen them live either. In fact, I remember walking out of the 2009 Big Day Out in Perth just as their set was kicking off. 

But when fellow band member Liam Howlett revealed in an Instagram post that Keith had indeed taken his own life, it really hit me. A huge sense of grief just welled up in me, and I'm not sure what really triggered it.

I've always found the way we react to celebrity deaths as a society very fascinating. Someone we have never met or spoken with can be so important to our lives that they leave a gap when they pass. There are those who will deride such actions, and offer a debate of whether a famous person's death deserves more attention or mourning than children dying from diseases in a third world country or victims of another shooting massacre in the USA. 

I think that one of the reasons I got so moved by Liam's words about Keith was that he was describing how he felt. Suicide leaves behind a lot an unanswered questions. The whys and hows aside, one thing that someone who has lost a loved one to suicide might ask themselves is 'what could I have done to prevent this?'.

The Prodigy recently toured Australia and New Zealand. Their last show was in Auckland on the 5th of February this year. Keith had only been home for a month or so. Being in a band myself, if I woke up to the news that one of my bandmates had taken their life, it would devastate me. In addition to sharing a stage, you spend a lot of time together. Sometimes you travel to a gig together, and there's breaks between sets. You get to know each other. You find out what's happening in each other's lives. I like to think that I am the kind of person that people can confide in. I usually don't have an issue talking about what someone is going through, and I'm happy to be the shoulder that gets cried on. It's so important to have someone you can talk to if you're experiencing depression or anxiety or both.

Having lost my own mother to suicide, I'm probably a little more sensitive and empathetic towards friends and families of those who have taken their own lives. You go through a lot of emotions. I struggled to deal with my mum's death. Well, to be honest, I didn't really try to. I was so determined not to let it affect me that it did. I became emotionally stunted. I overreacted (or under-reacted) to certain situations. Being diagnosed with autism a little over a year ago has informed me of how I handled some issues as I grew up as well. We're all just little pieces held together with sticky tape and string after all.

Bottom line, don't be afraid to seek help. It's one of the most important things you could ever do to move forward out of the hole of depression and anxiety.