Ring

I thought I might actually try one of the topics suggested by BLAM for this blog post. The suggested subject was simply 'ring', so why not?

"It's crazy but I'm frightened by the sound of the telephone, oh yeah..."

- Robert Palmer (Looking For Clues)

The first thing that pops into my mind is the ring of a telephone, possibly because my attitude towards them has changed over the years. When I was a kid, a ringing phone was an exciting event. I would race my sister to see who would get there first and answer the call. The possibilities of who the caller might be was seemingly endless! 
Because of the age of the mobile phone, our home landline rarely rings. When it does, we usually ignore it. Unfortunately, that's because nine times out of ten it's a telemarketer or someone else selling something and/or asking for money. The biggest advantage of the mobile phone is seeing who is ringing you. I rarely answer a call that has no caller ID. Again, because it usually means someone wants to put their hand in my pocket. I figure that if it's important, the caller will leave a message and I will call them back.

But even then, I'm not all that good on the phone. I get very nervous in social situations at the best of times, and a telephone conversation can be quite awkward. It's a weird thing, because sometimes I can be super smooth and relaxed, but in another situation I'm stuttering and anxious. A simple back and forth with the person operating the cash register at Coles is so easy one day, and then so challenging the next.

This weird duality of mine gets even weirder when I'm with friends. People that I look forward to seeing and like spending time with, and then when I'm there I just clam up. Or my conversational offerings are fairly nonsensical or trite. It makes all those times where interaction is effortless and easy all the more frustrating. 

There is an interesting third level here, which I've only just really discovered fairly recently. At some social gatherings I've been more of a spectator than a participant, but it doesn't bother me. Rather than getting flustered and telling myself to say something, I just sit back and take everything in. I listen to the conversations and enjoy everybody's interactions. I laugh at the jokes and the funny stories, but I don't offer up anything. When I'm the right mood, I find this quite pleasurable. Kind of weirdly voyeuristic and lazy, I guess, but still being social.

The mind is a strange thing. I find it bizarre that your mood can dictate how you handle yourself in certain situations. Ahhhh, the mysteries of life...